why is building self-esteem in my child important?
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Children who are confident and have good feelings about themselves are less likely to develop body dissatisfaction and eating disorders. Helping your child build good general self-esteem is also likely to help your child be resilient to pressures from others and maintain healthy eating patterns.
Support from parents plays an important role in building self-esteem in children. When children feel loved, listened to, understood, and supported by their parents, they are more likely to feel good about themselves. Parental support helps children cope with negative feelings and experiences. Therefore, your relationship with your child can be really important for building self-esteem and positive body image in your child. |
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Tips for parents
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boost your child's self-esteem
• Accept your child as they are, regardless of their weight, size, or shape.
• Have realistic expectations about your child’s behaviour or achievements, given their developmental stage.
• Encourage your child to appreciate their own strengths and skills.
See Activity 4
• Make positive comments about your child’s appearance and encourage your child to take pride in their appearance, but be
sure to balance this with emphasising other positive qualities (e.g., kindess), strengths, and achievements not related to
appearance, shape, or weight. These may even be about what their body can do (e.g., how fast they can run).
See Activity 5
• Don’t suggest to your child that they will be more likeable, happy, or successful if they are a different shape, lose weight, or
eat less. Instead, help your child develop values that link personal worth to qualities such as loyalty and care for others.
• Because of the potential harmful impact on your child’s self-esteem, avoid comparing your child’s appearance with others
(e.g., to siblings, cousins, or peers).
• Have realistic expectations about your child’s behaviour or achievements, given their developmental stage.
• Encourage your child to appreciate their own strengths and skills.
See Activity 4
• Make positive comments about your child’s appearance and encourage your child to take pride in their appearance, but be
sure to balance this with emphasising other positive qualities (e.g., kindess), strengths, and achievements not related to
appearance, shape, or weight. These may even be about what their body can do (e.g., how fast they can run).
See Activity 5
• Don’t suggest to your child that they will be more likeable, happy, or successful if they are a different shape, lose weight, or
eat less. Instead, help your child develop values that link personal worth to qualities such as loyalty and care for others.
• Because of the potential harmful impact on your child’s self-esteem, avoid comparing your child’s appearance with others
(e.g., to siblings, cousins, or peers).
be supportive
• Encourage your child to speak openly to you about how they feel about their body and listen to what they say.
• If your child expresses concern about their appearance, avoid criticising them for this.
• If your child is comparing how they look to others, discourage them from doing so and explain to them that this can make
them feel bad about themselves.
• Emphasise that we are all different and that is OK.
• Be open to all of your child’s interests, even if they are not traditional male/female activities - support their uniqueness,
individual choices, and achievements.
• Provide opportunities for, and encourage your child to engage in, a range of tasks and activities.
• Allow greater levels of autonomy as your child develops (e.g., by allowing them to choose clothes from their wardrobe and not
teasing them if they choose odd combinations).
• If your child expresses concern about their appearance, avoid criticising them for this.
• If your child is comparing how they look to others, discourage them from doing so and explain to them that this can make
them feel bad about themselves.
• Emphasise that we are all different and that is OK.
• Be open to all of your child’s interests, even if they are not traditional male/female activities - support their uniqueness,
individual choices, and achievements.
• Provide opportunities for, and encourage your child to engage in, a range of tasks and activities.
• Allow greater levels of autonomy as your child develops (e.g., by allowing them to choose clothes from their wardrobe and not
teasing them if they choose odd combinations).